I’m a perfectionist. Always accept been. And sometimes it drives me crazy.
Like a lot of ‘Type-A’ people, there isn’t abundant time in the day to be a accurate about everything, so we generally accent areas of our lives breadth our standards charge to ability their highest, and those breadth we can acquiesce the ‘good enough’ accepted to rule.
And again, like others, the areas that I’ve called for the a lot of absorption (where I accept the accomplished standards) accept remained almost the aforementioned throughout my developed life: academy and plan performance, parenting, relationships, claimed style, and the actualization of my home, appointment and cars.
The blow of my activity is relegated to the ‘good enough’ class and, unfortunately, fitness, due to time constraints… or at atomic that’s what I acquaint myself, generally finds itself in this one!
Being a ‘perfectionist’ in these abounding areas doesn’t beggarly that I in fact ability perfection. Far from it. Just ask my husband. Or my son. Or my friends.
All it agency is that I try my hardest in the areas that beggarly the a lot of to me. But if I abort to accommodated those actual top standards, I’m not actual acceptable at affectionate myself; however, just as I acclaim to my audience in my role as their psychotherapist, I aces myself up, besom myself off, and acquiesce myself the abandon to accomplish mistakes, to accomplish any apology that ability be necessary, and to move forward. Period.
The breadth of ‘perfection’ that I’m acclamation today is the actualization of my home. As I just mentioned, it’s been one of my ‘key’ focus areas, and today it so charcoal but I’m alpha to amend its adjustment on my list.
That doesn’t beggarly I no best affliction what it looks like; instead, it just agency it no best needs to attending like a architecture at all times of the day. Nor like it’s cat-and-mouse for a columnist from Better Homes and Gardens to arrive.
Why the change in priority?
I’ve ahead had dogs in my activity and my home remained almost camera-ready ‘perfect’. How? I’m not sure. Just a lot of time and attention. It was abundant larger, conceivably that fabricated it easier.
At that time we brought home the affectionate of dogs breadth new owners are warned “Beware of Hair”.
And yes, there was a lot of it. Everywhere.
But amid my abode cleaner and the occupants of our home all was kept manageable. Almost ‘perfect’.
That was 17-years ago and lots has afflicted aback then… except for my adulation of dogs.
In this new era, we downsized to a abode one division the admeasurement of our antecedent home. Kids gone, the dogs confused on to adorable pastures and activity became simple. For a while.
The new abode was beautifully decorated. Clean, shiny, new.
A few years later, we were abreast our architecture had become ‘pet-friendly’. I was thrilled. And, anon afterwards I brought home a new puppy, ‘shiny and new’ was replaced by crates, playpens, babyish gates, calm pee pads for house-training, an alfresco puppy absurd area, and a ton of colourful toys that banned to alloy in with the colour palette that I’d called for our active room.
Did I acknowledgment he had firehose diarrhea for two months?
Dining allowance armchair legs became teething sticks, wet and addled paws apparent our admirable cream-coloured exclusive (even afterwards assorted abrasion – daybed AND dog), and carpeting corners began to fray.
My ahead attractive arrangement of bounce and summer flowers accept become absent because, well, my dog will eat them – and the clay – and the pots – and I can’t acquiesce the ample vet bills that would accordingly follow.
Benson and Mack And again I brought home one more. The ‘beware of hair’ kind. Really? Why?
My bedmate befuddled his arch apprehensive whether I’d absent my mind. I did but somehow I’ve never regretted it.
It was again that I began to admiration whether I’d changed.
Where were my ‘camera-ready’ standards?
Was I accident a admiration to be beheld in a assertive way by others? Did I not affliction anymore?
WHO AM I?
Would my standards acknowledgment already the dogs became old and docile? Maybe, but I’m not anxiously apprehension that time. Instead, I adulation accepting dogs aback in my life. Like children, they advise us what’s absolutely important in life, and moreover, what’s not. And accepting a ‘perfect’ searching home is not, at atomic to me at this time in my life.
Don’t misunderstand me. The actualization of my home is still important but not the way it acclimated to be. I anticipate I was aggravating to affect others rather than demography the time to in fact adore active in it… absolutely active in it.
So I accomplish abiding it looks abundant at the end of the day but we all get to adore the amplitude in a way that I didn’t ahead allow.
It’s a antecedence change, for sure, and not one that I’ve let go of as calmly as it seems. For example, I still do accept our admirable abode cleaner to advice me mop up all that hair, the connected adenoids smudges on the mirrored closets, and added associated dog-related traces in our home.
And, to be honest, from time to time, I absence the ‘camera ready’ breeding that I was already amidst with, and at those times, I ache for the time breadth I can put the crates to bed assuredly and to patching and replacing all the places that were acclimated for teething.
But one affair is for sure: I’ll never affliction the superior of activity that was brought into our baby active amplitude by our two admirable dogs. They add to my activity the way a perfectly-designed home never did.
They add much-needed amusement to my activity to adverse the challenges I face with the affectionate of jobs that both my bedmate and I have.
They force me alfresco if I don’t feel like it and so the ‘good enough’ assignment of exercise is now affective upwards on my antecedence calibration acknowledgment to my dogs.
So it’s a win-win for all of us.I achievement they both reside forever.
In the end, I apprehend the things I capital to control, like accepting the absolute home, bound the fuller activity that was apprehension me. Now, I wonder, what abroad do I charge to let go of?
How about you?